The Issue

The Effects of Family Conflict on Children

Every year in the United States, more than one million children are directly involved in divorces; in the state of Oregon alone, nearly one-half of all marriages end in divorce. According to the 2007 National Vital Statistics Reports, Oregon reported 14,124 divorces in 2006 alone (National Center for Health Statistics 2007). Moreover, these statistics do not include custody modification cases filed post-divorce or custody and parenting time cases involving parents who were never married. As stressful and painful as these family break-ups are to the adults involved, it is the children who typically suffer most.

Children’s exposure to the high-conflict breakup of their fundamental family unit often has the potential to result in traumatic social and psychological effects that inhibit healthy development. When children are caught in the middle of high conflict situations and not provided the proper support during this process, they are more likely to suffer long-term effects, including higher rates of juvenile delinquency, drug use, teen pregnancy, personal divorces and lower rates of educational achievement.  These issues can be attributed to problems stemming from “continued problems in parent-child relationships and ongoing parental conflict,” coupled with the economic and social instability following the family break up (Emery 2004). These long-term ramifications are a legitimate concern for wellbeing of the child, parents and community in general.

The Effect of the Divorce and Custody Process on Children

Many times, the legal custody process exacerbates the negative effects faced by children involved in family conflict.  During a court case, children are put at risk when their rights and needs are not made a primary concern, primarily due to the nature of parents during conflict, the limitations of the court and the absence of the opportunity for children to communicate their own needs.

Children are made a part of the custody process through no choice of their own.  They are at the center of legal proceedings that will determine their future, yet they have no role in the decision-making process.  Often no one even takes the time to explain to them what is happening. Further, the interests of these children often risk becoming lost amid their parents’ battle against one another as “many parent’s capacity to attend to their children’s needs or communicate with them, diminishes during the separation and divorce period.” (O’Conner 2004) As parents zealously advocate their own legal positions, the information they convey to the court often reflects the parents’ views and needs rather than those of their children.

Moreover, courts have further difficulty serving the needs of the child due to inherent shortcomings in the legal system.  Judith Wallerstein, a seminal researcher on children of divorce, notes that children are at a disadvantage in the family court system because judges, charged with safeguarding the best interests of children, have no special training on child development or the impact of divorce on children’s adjustment. Few have been exposed to current research on what helps or hinders children during the divorce process.  (Wallerstein 2000).  As a result, family court judges often have limited ability to create the most appropriate resolutions.  They are in need of an entity that can accurately apprise them of the relevant issues and needs affecting children, and strongly advocate for their interests.

Finally, when children’s voices go unheard during these contentious circumstances, their resilience decreases and the risk to their wellbeing increases.  Researchers argue that to develop positively, children need to feel they are in control of their lives and can act on their own behalf, especially during major transition times. Further, “research shows that including children’s voices in the decisions that rule their lives, including legal decision on custody and access, contributes directly to their well being and adjustment and by implication their best interest.” (O’Conner 2004).  Despite these outcomes and “our bright assurances that children are central to the divorce proceedings, they remain voiceless.” (Wallerstein New York 2000).

An exhaustive study of the issues facing children in family conflict and the programs currently serving them in the United States and Canada provides some insight into potential steps that can be taken to lessen the risk to children involved. It states that “long-term adjustment of children of divorce is best fostered by programs that help their parents adjust … reduce inter-parental conflict and recurrent litigation over custody and access, and foster cooperative post-separation parenting arrangements with strong ties between children and both their parents.” (O’Conner 2004).  Since the custody process is a long and difficult one, it is imperative to provide services that lessen the impact of each potentially harmful moment on the child involved.