The Teenage Years for Parents

Adolescence is often portrayed by stories of rebellious and wild teenagers constantly fighting with their parents and other figures of authority, experimental behavior and out of control hormones. However the years between 13-19 are a transitional stage marked by the physical and mental development of a child becoming a young adult. Puberty is often associated with the physical changes while adolescence is viewed as the behavioral issues that arise.

Teenagers often experiment with the idea of a new identity; this is normal behavior and is often associated with different looks, tastes in music and other interests. They are increasingly aware of how they are viewed by others, mainly their peers and strive for a sense of belongingness to fit in. Unfortunately experimentation with drugs, alcohol, sex and other risky behavior during this transitional period can result in negative effects for a lifetime.

The goal of a teenager is to find their own identity and freedom from their parents. The emotional ups and downs of hormonal change often leads to conflict with parents and teens usually pull away most from the parent they are closest with. As a parent it is important to respect your child’s development and need for independence, however it is your responsibility to support and monitor their behavior.

Questions for parents to ask themselves during their child’s teenage years,

• Do I listen to my child?
• Do I allow my child to have different opinions and interests from my own?
•  Am I a controlling parent?

 

Tips for parents during their child’s teenage years,

1. Educate yourself. Read books to learn more about today’s society and the issues facing teenagers.
2. Talk to your child, before they begin to change emotionally and physically. Explain what is happening to their body and the emotions that often are associated with these changes.
3. Put Yourself in Your Child’s Place. Remember what life was like when you were a teen, the struggles you faced and the relationship you had with your own parents.
4. Pick Your Battles. Don’t sweat the small stuff. If you know something is not a big deal, let it go. Confrontation over insignificant issues will only lead to more conflict and separation from your child.
5. Set Expectations and reward your child for good behavior. Do not let your teenager get away with anything just because you want to avoid confrontation. Setting standards for your child will discipline without them even knowing it. And rewarding them for good behavior will increase their decisions regarding smart choices.
6. Inform your teen and yourself about risky behavior. Talk to your child about the consequences of sex, drugs, alcohol and tobacco use, before they’re exposed to it. This will help reduce their interaction and increase their ability to say ‘no’.
7. Know the warning signs of a troubled teens and inappropriate behavior lasting longer than 6 weeks:

•  Extreme weigh loss or gain
• Sleep problems
• Rapid or drastic change in personality
• Sudden change in friends
• Continually skipping school or other activities
• Failing grades
• Talk or jokes about suicide
• Signs of tobacco, drug or alcohol use
• Problems with authority figures and run-ins with the law

8. Respect your child’s privacy. Do not search through their personal belongings unless you have a reason to be concerned. As your child matures, you need to respect their need and want for privacy.
9. Monitor TV and Internet usage. Know what your child is watching and viewing online. Ask your child about what social media’s they are apart of, such as Facebook or MySpace. Sit down with your child to watch a program together if you are concerned about its content.